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Interview

I: Hey Lacey ! It’s so nice to meet you. I’m sure you can tell us an adventurous story- but it’s not any story. It is yours!

L: Hello. I mean yeah, I can tell you a lot about my life as a native and how I feel about Canada.

I: I’m absolutely sure you can. So could you start with introducing yourself?

L: As you already mentioned, my name is Lacey Hope and I’m 32 years old. I’m a native but actually more than that- I’m a native with all my heart. I live in Canada ever since I can remember. My ancestors settled down in this area hundreds of years ago. I grew up here but it wasn’t always easy…

I: Exactly. That’s the point. So was it really hard to become an adult in Canada?
 L: I mean yeah, kind of. When I was little, my central issue was the language. Even though my parents grew up here as well they couldn’t speak English at all and as a result they couldn’t teach me. I remember all the sad days when I sat in our hut in the reserve thinking of all the other kids who could talk with the whites in English. I felt like an outsider. Well, I guess I was one.

I: So tell us something about your time as a teenager Lacey. I know that teenagers are struggling with drugs and alcohol. You must’ve had a tough time eh?

L: Oh yea it was a tough time. I used to be a brave kid. I went to school, did all my homework, studied for tests and did all the assignments. And I wasn’t even bad. I was good, better than some other white kids. When they noticed that, they used to call me nerd and started bullying me. I went to school everyday and I was thankful to have the opportunity of learning something. But all the white teachers and students hated me- they hated us.It’s not easy to go to High school were are only white teacher because they don’t understand you. They don’t help you when you have problems with bullying. The first year I didn’t do anything. I mean, I was a freshman. I clearly didn’t know anything about all these people. But after a while, I think, half a year later, I started to resist myself. I fought other people. People who used to bully me, were scared of me now. I got into fights nearly every week. I got problems with the principal and other teachers. I got suspended for being rude and because of all the fighting. The same year I got into drugs and alcohol. It started at a party on the reserve. My parents were gone for the weekend and just my brother and I were home. My brother was 2 years older than me. He brought me to that party. I never drank alcohol in my life before or took drugs. Well that evening changed it. The boys on the Reserve knew that I was a good girl. Not like the others. The guys made me drunk and tried to hook on me. It was a terrible night! But after that night I didn’t stop with that partying even tho I didn’t like it. I went one and one and one. I partied every weekend and my marks dropped down in school. But I didn’t care. I noticed that I can forget things when I smoked weed and drank. One year later, I was bad at school and was a party girl. There was this one night which changed my life forever! This night I realized how stupid I was. I stopped with alcohol and drugs. It wasn’t easy but I made it and I am still sober. I don’t drink or smoke or take drugs. I finished High School and then went to College and University.

I: So you said, there was that one night which changed your life forever. What happened?

L: It was during the winter. It was icy outside but the boys didn’t care. They always did that; my brother too. They went to a place in the woods. There is a big place without trees. They drove there with their cars to make donuts. When they did it, they used to be drunk and they went up to that place because they knew it is illegal. They said, they need that kick. When my brother did it, he lost the control over his truck and crashed against a tree. He died right away. While all that happened I partied, took drugs and drank. Even tho I was gone into another world I noticed that something was wrong. People came back crying; boys and girls. After a while I noticed that my brother was missing. I started to ask people about him but no one wanted to tell me something. Suddenly it rang on the bell and police came inside asking about me. I was so scared because I knew they would notice that I took drugs. I tried to behave myself as much it was possible. But they noticed; instead of bringing me to the police office they brought me home. My parents were so mad but they noticed what was going on. The police man told them what happened. I can’t really remember it. I just heard my mom crying and my dad too. At this moment I realized what happened. The next thing I know is, waking up in the hospital…

I: Ok..wow…that is hard. I am so sorry!

L: It’s ok. My brother lost his live but I still feel him. He protects me. This night changed me and my life. I lost an important person. This night I realized how stupid that whole bullshit is….drugs and alcohol. I was in a vicious circle. I knew that and I had the feeling I will never come out of this shit. This night opened my eyes and I came out of it.

I: Sad story. So let’s talk about your experiences with the Whites again. Do you think it’s right how the white people treat the Natives?

L: Definitely not! It’s unfair. They treat us like trash. They have so many prejudices which ain’t true! We are the aboriginal people of this land. Actually it belongs to us but they stole it! We have to live on the reserve and if we don’t we won’t have any rights! We live separated from the main society. We don’t even have a chance to integrate. You know, I don’t want to say that our conditions how we live are bad. It’s okay to live on the reserve. We are one community. Everyone knows everyone. We still celebrate our festivals. We are proud of what we are! And none of us would like rather to be white than Native. But we are struggling with drugs and alcohol on the reserve; teenagers and adults. It is dangerous and we try to change things about that but it’s not so easy. One of the reasons that people struggling with things like that is that we have to live on the reserve. People get bored and so start with that whole shit. And this really have to change. You know, actually everything has to change! The white people can’t treat us like that anymore. We live in 21th century! For years I asked myself the questions why things turned out the way they did. I think it’s kind of our lives. It couldn’t be helped.

I: So they weren’t nice and gentle.

L: Of course not. Come on. Look at me- I am native! Nobody really wanted a deeper contact with a native person and I guess this is still the case. We Natives just hung out with other natives. Because even I learned the English language in school nobody was interested in knowing me- beside the natives.

I: you often mentioned now that you just hung out with other Aboriginals. What did that mean?

L: Well… I never had white friends. I think it was the schools fault. Just try to imagine: I never learned something about the white’s life. I never knew how they lived, what they eat, how they sleep and what they like. The only thing I knew was what they didn’t like: Us. When I was a teenager I just had native boys as my boyfriends. And this wasn’t the fault of my parents- they always told me how they would love to meet one of my white friends. But I had none.

I: You had none… Till THIS one, special day.

L: Oh yes! This one, special day changed my life for ever. I sat in the city alone and had nothing to do. I just hung out alone and thought about this, that and the other. All of a sudden a boy sat down next to me and asked me for the right way to get to the mall. It wasn’t a given that he talked to me and that he was so gentle. His name was Carl and he looked so beautiful. After we became a couple he told me that he knew the way to the mall, he just needed a reason to talk to me. He wanted to be nice because he knew how hard life is for the natives. For some reason he felt sorry for me because I sat so alone. It was the first time in my life that I experienced something good with a white man. Now I’m married with him. But I will never forget who I am and where I come from.

I: Why doesn’t your husband have prejudice? What kind of Character does he have?

L: I guess he has just a big heart. The Canadian society definitely needs more people like him. Did you know that Canada is officially called “a nation of immigrants” and that every ethnic group is very welcome here? I made different experiences. Most of the white Canadians do not even tolerate us. But Carl is different. For him all men are equal and all men should be treated equally. He never cared about the fact that our values and traditions aren’t the same ones. We learned to show respect for each other even if we don’t like a certain tradition.

I have absolutely no idea why he’s so different. But actually I don’t care- I’m happy to call him my husband.

I: Right, now you guys are married. You told us already a bit about your attitude towards the white Canadians in the past. But what do you think about the whites nowadays?

L: I still can’t forgive them. I mean I don’t have the right to judge the whites in general but many of them had and still have absolutely no sympathy for our life situation. I live in a reserve like all natives do and I really love my home. But nevertheless I feel separated from the society. Let me tell you something.

I remember this one day when I was five years old. My parents went into the city and I wanted to join them so badly. So I did. We had a great day at the mall. When we went to a restaurant for lunch I ordered a pizza. “No food for people like you”, mumbled the waiter and kicked us out of the restaurant. That is one of the reasons why I can’t forgive them. Natives are also humans. I m glad to know Carl and he showed me a different side of the whites.

I: This is an awful story and really emotional. Do you have white friends since you are in a relationship with Carl?

L: I do and I love all of them. They are wonderful people and the reason why I don’t lose faith in the Canadian society.

I: Does your parents accept your relationship with Carl?

L: Absolutely. My mom wants my two younger sisters to marry a white man, too. Since I know Carl my parents are also more tolerated. Isn’t that weird?I: It is! Do you want to tell the world something else, Lacey?

L: No matter what you wanna be, what you dream of and what you do: Never forget your origins and who you really are. Don’t give others the chance to change you!

I: Thank you, Lacey. It was a pleasure to meet you and I appreciate that you told me your story.